SAD FRIDAY part 2

talked a lot..
He explained everything to me..
He said that he seldom on MSN..
his MSN is auto on de..
and whenever he online..
he was doing sumthing IMPORTANT..
but not dating..
so he blocked me..
then i asked..
how about emails?
he replied..
i dint even open mails..
my mails thousand plus,without a glance..i deleted all..
thats the reason he never reply my emails..
simple reason that explained all?
it was me..
thinking too much..
anyway..
PAST TENSE le..*^-^*
jus hope that @Nn dun get angry when u read my posts..

Whenever happened unpleasant things..
Jesmond owais ther..why not @?
in musics..only Jesmond can help me..
but i was hoping that @ can help me..
he comforted me..
but i was thinking abt @..
i called @ that nite..
and make him sad..
cuz he heard me crying..
which was very stupid..
haiz..
why i called him..
so stupiak..
the bodeh-est gal in the world..
if ther was such award..
im sure the one who will win it..
100%

i duno wad to say le..
i dun wan to type out me n Jesmond de conversation..
so nth to say le..
i hv no mood to type out all the details..
so sienXx~!!!!!!

-xing-

SAD FRIDAY

Just now i went to church as usual..
the difference is this coming sunday
im going to perform a song with the choir members..
as a pianist..
this song..i learnt it since last year about september..

I went to church..
Jesmond went there too..
He helped me a lot today..
Emm..today we planned to practice 2 songs..
one is the song im practicing the other is Jesmond's song..
but..we dint achieve our aim tonite..
we only succeed to practice my song..
we missed Jesmond's song..
the reason is..im a LOUSY pianist..
I dint play well tonite..
the song i practiced for MORE THAN HALF YEAR..i dint play well..
wad for practiceing it?!
even Jesmond's sight-reading was better than me..
who practiced for so long..
wad a terrible shame..!!!

well the conductor knew that i was nervous
'cause i played the wrong notes and
keep shaking my head whenever i ply the wrong notes..
diu lian arh~!!!!!!!!!!
we practice n practice n practice..
my timing was not accurate..
Jesmond helped me..by clapping his hands and counting the beats..
if tonight he was not there..wad am i going to do?
cry??shout??or wad?i myself have no idea..
maybe i will run away from them?thats wad i think now..

at last..the conductor really cant stand it..
He keep on telling me..
"dun nervous..play properly..dun play the wrong notes again"
then i still play wrongly..
'cuase of my timing..
Jesmond dint help me to count that time..
but later,he helped me again..
he play the notes with me..
together..
then i was least nervous..but..
this Sunday he wont be there beside me!
wad am i supposed to do?!
i failed to understand.
why Jesmond plays so well and yet the teacher asked me to play it..
it was a contrast..
Jesmond the genius and Me the bodoh-est girl..

this reminded me of the first time i play on stage..
that was a total failure..
and i cried few weeks over it..
whenever i play the piano..there sure to have mistakes..
except two times..
the other times..always wrong..
im a total idiot..

after that..the conductor surrendered..
he asked miss Yun Feng to help me..
the only time i dint play wrongly is when i play the songs for her..
she was a great conductor + teacher~
i liked her very much..and she comforted me..
at last~!
i cried..
cant stop my tears when she came..
cant tahan anymore..
really sad and hopeless..
if this Sunday i play like this..
i wont ever dare to play on stage again..
she also helped me a lot..
especially my timing..
she thought Jesmond was my brother..
then after asking properly..
the she know tht we were just friends..

Jesmond saw me crying..again..
it was not embarrasing this time..
i mean..
i dint feel embarassing to cry in front of him..
stressed??or i just dint think abt it..
that time i cant even breathe properly..
i just shen hu xi n tremble there..
i cant stop crying..
i simply just felt that im very useless..
the key for my song was D major..
D major..imagine..D major!!
i cant play well even it was just D major?!!
then wad for i practice so long??!!
I cant practice there..
I just asked Jesmond to play for me..
I just listened n cried..
everytime i play the songs..
there always were errors..
Why?!
i think it was because i dint put much effort in it?
or wad?!!!

nvm le..just sad abt it..
now ok le..
talk back to 8.00pm yesterday..
long time din c Jes..
felt quite weird..
but luckily..
dint quarrel..still frens..
still talk to each other..

Small story

Once upon a time,there was a girl whose name is XSX.
She had a terrible past in relationships.
She faced many many problems in it,not only in friendship but all.
Sometimes she kept thinking that why was she so stupid.

Once,she encounter a terrible friendship problem.
She quarreled with her best friends.
That was the thing she regret the most in her whole life.

She was an annoying girl.
Maybe that's why all her friends called her names?
Even the guy she admired last time also said that she was annoying and random.
That's her past.
She hoped that she can start a new life.
A better life whereby she can do well in academic as well as relationships problems.

Now,in a new year,she hopes that she can achieve what she wished for..
Finally she can get rid of the bad memories in her life.
She knew that her tears were precious.
Her tears came from Heavenly God,the Creator.
She promises herself not to cry easily,no matter what happened.

This is just a small story.
Thank you for reading it.
Appreciate that u spend some times to read this story.
Any comment?

-xing-

NEW YEAR~!!!

no more HE............
YEAH~!!!!!!
finally..
the day i've wait came..
akhirnya........
yeah....
im so happy....
no feelings le???
en en...
no more..
towards HIM...
even if he cry in front of me...
im so happy yo~!!!

new life begins..
in the new year..
goody good...

-xing-

AnN

abt all the things i write b4 this..
it ady past liaw..
k??
las time de shi..
sheng gu liaw..
dun take it to..............
pls..can??
if not..
i duno wad shud i do anymore..
nth i can do..
now i baru wan to start new life..
please..
i hope......................
nth i can do now..
i can only wait...
please....
wait until when i myself also duno...
sad~~

-xing-

Korea

anyone viewed my frenster profile?
HE replied me..
and explain the reason for din reply my msgs..
HE was in Korea..
cool yo~!
Why everytime when i wana giv up..
sumthing will happen de???
but..
this time..
i've made up my mind..
no more HE..
frens nia..
NTH MORE THAN THAT..
wont think too much..
im happy now..
and im glad..
V=.=V

-xing-